I find myself thinking about Fall/Winter and the kiddos heading back to school, with it comes a myriad of emotion (recently we went back to mandated masks indoors here in Oregon as COVID numbers have been rising). I’ve been feeling some ambivalence recently which is always a signal to pause and pay attention! I am feeling both optimistic and realistic about potential challenges ahead, a bit disconnected and yet smothered with the kids at home (all day every day 😂), feeling overwhelmed yet I could be doing more. Do you ever find yourself feeling two conflicting emotions? Me too. In looking ahead, I’ve also found myself feeling so thirsty for certainty, a “plan” I can undoubtedly count on (ha! I know better). Seeking certainty is exhausting, here’s what I find helpful in letting go and moving beyond the temptation.
I have found the antidote to seeking certainty is curiosity. Curiosity is the quickest way out of fear about the unknown, a powerful mindset for managing expectations, and a tool for overcoming disappointment when best laid plans don’t go according to the plan. Curiosity is a decision to slow down, and press pause on internal chatter, to listen instead. It’s allowing the reality of what IS to be an invitation to stay open to what is possible. It’s the bold, brave, good kind of second guessing. So how do you get curious?
Adopt a both/and mindset. Allow the truth of two opposing feelings or attitudes to exist, more than one thing can be true at the same time. Rather than feeling resigned to something being one way--good or bad, either/or, for or against, embrace the paradoxes of life. There’s freedom in giving yourself permission to hold space for two conflicting emotions, it’s a powerful gift we possess as humans. When we adopt a both/and mindset we can get to curious faster. We can be more flexible and open to learn something. The both/and mindset supports us finding familiar ground (if even the smallest sliver) with another person with whom we might not agree. Helps us manage our expectations about how we think things “should” be and creates possibility for outcomes we might not yet know or understand.
Question what you think you know. Kids are awesome teachers in asking questions. Ask questions of yourself, ask questions of others around you, ask about what you don’t know, ask about what you think you already know. Before taking a strong stand on something, a question can keep you curious and open in conversation. Questions provide the slowdown, a time-out to understand before you respond. A resource, a competitive advantage for deeper understanding, growth, and innovation.
Trust you will figure out the part you didn’t see coming. If you’re reading this, you’ve survived 100% of the uncertain challenges on your path so far! You have valuable experience from previous challenge. What worked for you before? What didn’t work? What opportunity or unexpected gift (or learning) did you experience on the other side? Curiosity is an attitude. A mindset and daily decision to stay flexible and open to whatever comes your way. Where are you being invited to be curious right now? I'm with you.
Stay open, brave, and on-purpose!
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