3 WAYS TO STOP CATASTROPHIZING
Dec 02, 2023
Hello and welcome back! December has arrived and we’re leaning into all things cozy and festive big time over here. Twinkle lights, cozy pj’s by the fire, and all the holiday movies. It’s my favorite.
I’ve been spending some time zooming out and reflecting on what I’ve learned and things I’m continuing to work on heading into the new year. This sparked a memory from earlier this year. My twin sister and I were sharing a two hour boat ride to a small island in Hawaii. When her and I get together, it doesn’t take long for us to end up in a fit of laughter. Since as long as I can remember, her and I have shared a wild imagination and one of our favorite ways to express it is through the “what if” lens. We can be anywhere and quickly find ourselves fabricating stories and series of what-if events and outcomes that leave us laughing hysterically. This day was no exception. Less than an hour into the boat ride we launch into our familiar pattern. It’s important to share, the further we got from shore the rougher the ride became. Our what-if’s escalated right along with the waves and before long we had ourselves tossed overboard, lost at sea, never to return home again.
This time, our what-if game conversation ended differently. There was a clear moment the light clicked for both of us. What if this habit of thinking is also the culprit for our suffering? We were catastrophizing. The what-if game was funny until it wasn’t. Catastrophizing is a habit of worst case scenario thinking that gets in the way of experiencing more curiosity, openness, resilience, and happiness. You can’t unsee a realization like this one. I started noticing it all the time. I noticed it in myself when I struggled to make a courageous decision, I noticed it in response to my kids when they experienced a setback, I noticed it in the places I was holding back in my marriage. Like all habits, the one of catastrophizing can be broken. A new pattern can exist. Our brains are malleable, we can build new neural pathways and ways of thinking and responding. Three ways to begin:
Be mindful of the language you use with yourself, others, and in reference to your challenge or circumstance.
Record and name what you catastrophize and then question it. Seek neutrality. Is it true? What’s the evidence? What could be good here, regardless of the outcome?
Identify disconfirming experiences and outcomes. What evidence and experiences disconfirm your worst case scenario outcome?
When real unexpected or challenging events and circumstances in life arise, how are you training the habit of our mind to respond? Real or made up, your mind doesn’t know the difference. The stories we tell ourself become a habit and a pattern, a way of thinking. Our thinking drives our feelings, behaviors, and decisions. If the only thing we can control in this life is our reaction and response, how well are we equipping ourselves? When we know better we can do better.
Up next, I’ll be sending you a few of my favorite things from 2023!
As always, stay open, brave, and on-purpose.
